Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Courting an "independent woman"
How do I pursue an strong independent woman without coming off as clingy?-gdixonregeneca
A: When you say the strong independent, what does that mean exactly? To me, that kind of sounds like a warning - not open to a relationship or commitment, or to you specifically - but it is the development of their lack of interest as an excuse that is hard to argue with or criticize.
Here's the thing: I consider myself very very independent. And I feel bad for a bunch of guys now, because I'm very hard to pin down -I have my social calendar booked sometimes weeks in advance, and the rest of my time is spent at work. But the hard truth is that if I'm with someone, I will try very hard to make time for him.
That said, it's a balancing act: I can as a man very well and like to spend time with him, and not just honestly have much time on my agenda. That's why, especially in the beginning of a relationship, a guy who has to do a little more leg work. Try these tips.
Having a plan
If you are interested in a woman (impossible) and I have to be open about wanting to hang out, but not overbearing. Send them an email saying, hey, we can have dinner sometime this week or next? What's your schedule look like? Make solid plans with her, have strong ideas about what to do, and ask a lot, well in advance. No tasteless ... if she is busy, you can say: "Sure, I love spending time at some point" every day (even seriously), but that does not mean that we do on your calendar.
As for not being dominant - if not commit to a firm date and time, she probably is not as crowded as disinterested. If you commit to actual dates, send an e-mail or two over a week to let them know you are thinking of her and hope she is having a great day. If he likes you, she'll appreciate it. (In addition, the new science indicates that it is flirty, but not totally clear about your feelings, I pique your interest.)
Ask a current date
My nights are always, always more quickly booked my weekends during the day. Ask him to hit a local flea market with you, or coffee, or a walk on a Saturday or a Sunday afternoon, and she is much more likely to say yes, if you ask for drinks or dinner .
For other ideas, great date, check to make every day an unforgettable adventure. And play our dating game to see how much you know about dating. And good luck!